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Don’t Do Something Permanently Stupid Because You Are Temporarily Mad

I heard a random quote on the radio the other day and it made me think of several of my former clients and cases.  The host said, “don’t do something permanently stupid because you are temporarily mad.” Divorce is one of the most emotionally charged areas of legal practice. It is the only area of the law where the people who are litigating have slept in the same bed, shared the deepest of connections and often share the bond of creating a new life. Because of those emotions, in almost every case the judgment of otherwise reasonable people is clouded.  These reasonable people may say and do things that they can never, ever take back.

Divorce Doesn’t Have to Be That Way.

Unfortunately, a marriage, and thus a divorce, is a two way street and you can only control your emotions and your words, but our advice to clients is that it is hard to fight with someone who isn’t fighting back. And even if someone tries, the fight won’t last long!  It is important that you look like the pillar of reason during your divorce, for both financial and custodial gain. Don’t let your spouse engage you, especially during an email or text message exchange…because odds are they will be copying and emailing that exchange to his or her attorney post-haste.  Never put anything in writing that you would not want attached to a Motion and put in front of the Judge. Also, the petty arguments that take place during a divorce tend to cloud the real issues which will make your divorce more costly and more emotionally taxing.

You have to look ahead to what life will be like after divorce and, for those of you who share kids with your spouse, you have to come to terms with the reality that your spouse is going to be in your life – for the rest of your life.  While as spouses you are divorcing, you can’t divorce each other as co-parents; those who try to do so end up damaging their relationships, often irreparably, with their children.  Don’t permanently impair your ability to have a cordial relationship with your spouse down the road because your current divorcing situation puts you in a bad place.

Easier said than done, right?  Call us at 847-426-1866 for more advice.